This week, I’m doing something a bit different. As I hope this can be a space that inspires Brown Ladies everywhere to travel and explore, I took some time to chat with one of my travel inspirations and dear friend, Locsi. While some people consider me to be a seasoned traveler, Locsi has me beat by a mile! As a solo traveler, long before ‘female solo travel’ was a thing, Locsi shares with us some highlights from her journey and motivation for trips to come. Below is (most of) what we talked about over about an hour, not verbatim but in Locsi’s own words. Enjoy!

I’m having the best time of my life.  I’m living life to the absolute fullest.  No regrets.

– Locsi F.

Where was your first trip out of state? When did you first leave California?

My parents took us to Mexico frequently when we were young.  Young enough I don’t even remember, but there are pictures of me there at four or five years old.  I have memories of visiting my relatives and grandparents, particularly my grandfather’s farm in Chihuahua and my grandparents in Sonora.  I think I went to Mexico even before I went to another state [in the US].

When was your first solo trip?

I took solo trips on my own a lot, in high school.  Maybe San Diego or surrounding areas.  

So when you were still in high school you would travel by yourself?

Yea! (laughs) Just get in the car and drive somewhere!  Even [just] a museum or the beach. Sometimes I’d go with friends, but sometimes I wanted to explore at my own pace.  I think that was always the key- I prefer to be with people but sometimes I wanted to go at my own pace.

What about your first solo trip abroad, where did you go?

In my early 20’s, I went to Spain. I flew into Madrid on my own and met up with a friend there.  Then I took an overnight sleeper [train] from Madrid to Córdoba (in the South) by myself.  And then from Córdoba to Granada, which was incredible! From there, I took a train to Barcelona where I met up with another friend and then from there we traveled together.  My friend couldn’t meet me until later in the trip, so I was like, “Well I’m not gonna wait!” (laughs)  “I have some friends in Europe, I’m just gonna go visit them.”  And you know I don’t remember being really that scared. I think my parents… my mom… maybe she didn’t know.  Now that I think about it… I don’t think I told her! (laughs).  [I told her] “I’m meeting friends!” She would have been concerned.

 That was my follow up question! (laughs) We talked a little bit about this- I think even at this age, people will put their anxieties on you before you travel (especially if they don’t travel often).   Have you gotten pushback from friends or family about traveling alone?

I know my mom would have had concerns.  My mom was a very traditional Mexican woman.  “Don’t go so far away, stay close to home. Be home by a certain hour.”  I very much rejected all of that. Even though I grew up very traditionally, in a Mexican household, I was also a crazy American teenager.  A young person that wanted to see the world. And my mom wanted to see the world too. But she was also a mother and had her concerns about a child going somewhere alone.  So I didn’t tell her about this first trip.

But I do remember telling some friends and a lot of people looked at me kind of like, “You’re gonna be alone for a couple weeks?? Aren’t you scared?” and I really didn’t think about it that way.  My sisters are the same way. Growing up, we were always looking beyond. New adventures, new people to get to know, places to learn about, foods to taste. That was already in our DNA.

Nobody would have been able to stop me. I saved up for the trip- I was going! I think that appeals to the adventurous side of my mother, how she used to be when she was younger. But things change when you have a family, you tend to be more anxious about the safety of others.

So, you mentioned saving for the trip- how do you budget for solo travel?  Cause that is different right? Not splitting hotels and cars, how does it look different when you travel alone?

You know there is a difference between traveling by yourself in your 20s and traveling in your 40s (laughs).  That has a lot to do with money and savvy. Knowing what you want and makes you comfortable. [In my 20’s] I was eating on the cheap, staying in hostels.  I wasn’t eating three square meals a day. We were having so much fun, we were running around, eating on the go. Staying at hostels that included breakfast.  But now as an older… more mature woman, I went to Rome alone to celebrate my birthday, I stayed at a proper, lovely Roman hotel.  Marble floors, great breakfast. Much different than the hostels of my youth (laughs). Obviously it was more expensive.

People who travel on their own should be celebrated. They know themselves. They are doing it for the love of adventure, wanting to reach out to something outside of themselves.  I think that takes a lot of courage.  

-Locsi F.

Are there differences in the way people interact with you when you are traveling alone, versus in a group?

There’s one pet peeve that I have and this has happened a few times in Europe.  I went to a friend’s wedding in Malta. I went off on my own to this beautiful beach that a lot of tourists go to. It’s crystalline waters, gorgeous.  But, as a solo traveler, there’s this prejudice that people sometimes have against you, in terms of restaurants or going to the beach.  They won’t rent you just one chair! They rent them in couples!?! I’m trying to be a good tourist, but I’m giving this kid a hard time, like “I came here on my own to see your beautiful country!  I can’t get a chair unless I rent a boyfriend?” He was so apologetic, he said he couldn’t do it but he gave me this rickety chair with an old umbrella. They gave me a janky chair!

I think I got this more in Europe than anywhere else.   There have been times when I’ve been shoved in the back, like they’re keeping those tables out front for romance or whatever. Sometimes, it takes some effort to prove your value as a solo traveler, to a place that serves couples and groups.  More often than not, I’m treated without any kind of discrimination but there are times when you are treated as less than as a solo traveler.

What are the most common misconceptions about a woman who is traveling alone?

A woman traveling alone is just a very sad woman- unmarried, has no children, or a lesbian (laughs).  Especially in different parts of Asia, the first questions are always, “Are you married? Do you have kids?”

They don’t mean anything by it, but they have these looks on their faces, “You don’t have a boyfriend, you don’t have a husband and you don’t have kids.  You are the saddest person to ever walk this Earth.” (laughs)

And meanwhile the reality is, I’m having the best time of my life.  I’m living life to the absolute fullest. No regrets. Whenever I send people postcards, they are jealous.  People always say, “I wish I could be like you and travel!” I tell them, ‘You can be like me! No one is stopping you.”

Even if you have kids, there can be a time when you go on your own, or with friends or a partner to do something adventurous.’  I think people see it as such a huge thing to do. Huge step to take, to go traveling on their own. It’s one of the easiest and most natural things I’ve ever done.

The misconception is always, ‘you don’t have anything in your life, so you’re traveling’.  The first things people will say will be out of judgement, ”Don’t go out too late at night.  It’s dangerous. I don’t think women should be traveling alone.  You aren’t safe”.

The moment that women are out there and, 1) have freedom, 2) are doing what [we] want, 3) don’t impose barriers on ourselves, then people feel as if something were to happen to us, it’s our fault.  Because we crossed the line, we took it too far.

Right, we ventured too far away from the safety of home...

Yea- “look what happens, you shouldn’t have done this!”.  Why am I the only one responsible? I’m not gonna lie, the world can be a dangerous place.  But that can’t be the barrier to keep you from actually seeing the world. If we never left our own city, it would be like a prison!  I refuse to live in a world that says that women need to be in this box. “Don’t stray from the box because something bad might happen to you”.  I don’t think that’s a way for any woman to live. It limits your options. It limits your thinking, limits the possibilities and opportunities to put yourself out there and develop yourself as a human being.

Well said, friend.  With that in mind, you touched upon the safety issue- having been someone who has traveled on her own for most of your adult life, what are the ‘do’s and don’ts’ you would share with a woman who hasn’t traveled on her own yet?

Planning.  I’m more of a spontaneous type of person.  But if you’re wanting to do something at night that involves you coming back late, plan how you’re going to get home.  In certain places, where people have mentioned there may be safety issues for tourists, I will have a taxi or a car connected with my hotel take me home.  I make friends with taxi drivers who I get a good feeling from. You can use transportation organized through your hotel or hostel. Don’t over drink. You don’t want to get in a situation where you can’t get home, you’re alone in the dark.  It’s planning and being street smart. I think confidence is really key.

This might be a challenge since you’ve traveled so much, but I’m going to ask you to pick your top three experiences you’ve had on a solo trip.

(long pause)… That’s really hard.

You’ve been a lot of places!  How about this- pick one from your 20’s, one from your 30’s and one from your 40’s.  How bout that?

For my 20’s, it was definitely visiting Granada, in Spain on my own.  Beautiful place! It felt really young. I felt like I was part of the community.  There’s a university, lots of music, it’s the perfect place to walk. I just loved it.  It was romance and culture and history. It was the perfect place for me to be on my own.  I just felt really safe.

Okay, 30’s?

Seems like forever ago now (laughs). Hmmm, in my 30’s I did a lot of traveling with friends… 

For my 40’s, I really loved going to Siem Reap [Cambodia] on my own.  It was just wonderful. Going to Angkor Wat on my own, exploring. It was just incredible. You feel like you’re in Indiana Jones.   The food was fantastic. The hotel I stayed at, they treated me like gold.  They had a lovely pool. It was maybe $75-80 a night.

They had an airport transfer as well.  They asked, “What would you like to do? We can have a Tuk Tuk waiting at 5am to take you to watch the sunrise at Angkor Wat.”  And I wasn’t alone, it was incredible- the sunrise was my companion.

You can rent a bike and ride through the entire archeological site, pack a lunch and just spend the day exploring all the temples.

That’s so dope.  Now I wanna go.

Okay, I found one for my 30’s.  I went to Lumbini, the birthplace of the Buddha in Southern Nepal (while I was living in Nepal in Khatmandu). I traveled on my own, for some research for work.  It’s very rural, nothing much there but people growing their own food and living in small communities, nothing really for tourists there.  They have these beautiful temples, it was really very spiritual. More of a site for pilgrimage. Never in a million years did I think I would visit the birthplace of the Buddha!  It really blew my mind. I was very quiet there, read a lot of books.

I felt the same way about India; I went to visit the Taj Mahal alone. That was amazing!!  

Answer this for me, and for everyone that doesn’t know you- how do you have friends all over the world?? (laughs) This is important- cause I’m thinking like, not everyone who grew up in Santa Clarita, California has friends in Egypt and India and Europe.  How did that come about and has that shaped where you’ve chosen to travel?

Oh yea, absolutely!  When I was much younger, I got my bachelor’s in International Relations so I was already surrounded by people [exchange students] from all over- from the Netherlands, Latin America, India.  That shaped my education. Also, my jobs have been in international human rights issues, so I met a lot of amazing human rights activists coming to the US.  Then through my travels to Europe and moving to England in my early 30s to get my masters. I was studying International Development and Gender. All my classmates were from everywhere in the world – Pakistan, Malta, Croatia, Japan. I’m still friends with them.  I’ve been to Kosovo and Egypt because I had friends there. I’m good at maintaining friendships.

Oh, I don’t know if I told you, I went to Greece over the summer.  I hung out in Athens with a friend then she left and I went by myself to the island of Hydra- and they don’t have any cars!  They transport things using donkeys (laughs).

Wait, wait! So you took a boat over and then you had to get on a donkey?? (laughs)

Some people do, but I just walked.  These poor donkeys, they have all this luggage and people on their backs. I brought my little backpack and my swimsuit and I would just walk around and jump in the water, wherever I wanted.  It was incredible!

What’s still on your travel bucket list?

Back to Egypt, I want to go all the way down the Nile. Rwanda and the Democratic Republic of Congo. Going on a proper safari. Morocco. Hiking and trekking in Iceland. Lots of places in Latin America- Venezuela and Cartagena, Columbia. 

Like a true traveler, your top three has turned into more like ten.  I’m gonna crash one of your solo trips, cause I wanna go too! (laughs)

Okay, last question– What advice do you have for a woman considering her first solo trip?

Don’t hesitate!  Have your first trip be your dream trip- the place you have always wanted to visit.  Don’t allow any kind of barriers to get in the way of purchasing the ticket to go. I think a woman who is already contemplating it, means that trapped inside of her is an adventurous woman that is wanting, begging to come out.  The first step may be can be the scariest.

It’s hard for me to give advice on this, because I was never scared.  As a kid, I had a list of all the places I wanted to go. It was never about getting married and having kids as soon as possible, it was “I want to go to Egypt.  I want to work for the UN”. All I can say is, trust me. You’re gonna love it and you’re gonna know yourself in a way you never thought possible.

Big thanks to Locsi for sharing her journey with all of us. I hope you’re all as inspired as I am to get out and explore the world!

Also, you may have picked up there was a fair amount of laughter and banter in this interview. This has me thinking about podcasting. Always something new to explore… stay tuned!

Alright Brown Ladies, are you ready to plan your first solo?!